I have been absent from this blog for some time; mostly because I started a new blog. It was supposed to chronicle my life with three little kiddos, while also doing grad school and teaching, etc etc. Yup - three. You heard me.
Except that we lost the babe. I've debated whether to write about this or not. It's been one of the hardest lessons I've ever had to learn. And no matter how many times I think I've got the idea of living mindfully down, something happens to kick me in the ass, and forces me to reflect on the fact that I have, again, missed the point.
That's what this did. I took for granted the idea that every pregnancy = a healthy babe at the end of it. It doesn't. In fact, more than 1 in 4 pregnancies ends in loss. And because of all kinds of other personal issues that I don't really want to talk about on the internet, I feel like this is an especially important message that I need to pay attention to. One about tolerance, my biases and opinions, and being humble, among other things.
However, I do believe that everything happens for a reason. And I received two small confirmations of what that reason might be shortly after receiving the news of our loss. And so, I'm comforted by the fact that although this wasn't meant to be, the universe does have it's plan...that we are all being looked out for and that while we might *think* we know what the future will bring, this is always a mistake. The fact is, the only thing we can be sure of is the present.
Some mindfulness advice: The past is history, the future is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why it is called the present.
A 'lil wisdom from my favorite kung fu turtle.
Namaste!
Friday, February 5, 2010
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